lonely weekend

i m feeling down.. guess she is enjoying herself.. i should be glad rite? but can't feel that way.. feel lonely.... additional sianness is that i will be going tekong for 1 full week.. i cannot even contact her.. yet u cannot see her.. than after next week.. in another 2 weeks after next week i will be heading to brunei.. haizz.. i got to be understanding rite? but how much can i keep it this way being as understanding and caring as can be? worried that i may get tired 1 day.. today she did not even msg me unless i msg her.. guess she is really enjoying herself.. so today i made it a point not to msg her.. this is killing me... loving 1 person is really strainous.. but i dunno.. what is keeping the fire within me to carry on the love that i am showering on her.. i am so afriad that is fire will be extinguished due to exshuastion... feeling like F*** tired unappreciated over worked.. maybe i got to let loose the kites string.. holding too tite.. well.... think i got to end here it is 7 and i got to book in by 9.. life sux.. no life... i should really just jump down.... feel like i'm mr no life lonely.. wat happen to all my friends too??? maybe there is something wrong with me? i am trying my best to keep up with them.. but y i can't? i also cannot really associate with my army friends damn well.. should i question my charcther? i think i should... ok going off now.. hope to see u all soon guys... and yes also inculding u... i think u know who u are... ciaozzzz