Cold sweat...

i at med @ 7 and decided to sleep.. broke out in real cold sweat.. but feel so much better.. than i cannot sleep so decided to on com and do a little blogging.. life has been smooth.. like i said.. but work mundane.. so as israel is having it's warring problem my account is affected.. and i am given more accounts to do.. i find it good in a way.. next week is coming.. school starting.. anyway i am also wanting to blog about this.. first 2 days after that phone call.. we did not talk.. she dyed her hair.. and it's nice.. kinda attracted yet with holding it back.. everybody thinks we had a fight but i promise her i shall not disturb her.. and i kept it.. it's so weird! i miss talking and playing with her.. but it's bring uninvited gossips ard.. and i know i am in no position to do anything as the consequences are dire... i feel she is happily single and i shall not ruin that.. i was happily single once a long time ago and i know the feeling lonely yet occupied and contented.. and that is what i feel and see in her eyes.. what am i to do but just to leave her alone.. it feels so weird.. but well somethings are best left untouched...

well as i have changed my blog add i believe onli 1 person is updated only.. but i shall slowly updated the rest of the ppl ard me... well alot of ppl has been asking me how am i have i move on.. i can only say not totally but there is progression.. what has happen is that min decided to go ahead with the other guy despite asking me back.. i realise that is how much she had love me.. even if she has given up she still had to go back to the other guy.. i dun say she had 2 time me but the pain and hurt she gave me was too much.. she says she is hurt 10000000 times more and i understand.. why and reasons but doesnt mean that she had to go back to him.. so in the end she still betrayed my love.. there is alot of resentment within her and most probably she cant face me.. well if i had a chance to talk to her i can only say i given my all but she hasnt.. anyway observing from a another point of view.. a friend told me she look so different like ah lian and my player friend say she looks like a good target i was freaking shocked.. i took a good look again the way she has been presenting herself has changed. a xiumin i really dont know.. she is now chloe a gossip girl chloe.. i really hope she would love herself. the reason why i change the add is becos i know she will read my blog and i needed to blog this out.. hopefully by the time she read this it's like months or years later.. so this is the closure about my simple yet complicated story with him and her..

The next phase of life is coming soon i really dun know i should get a bike.. i have a burning desire to get 1 super 4 as i racer bike gives too much problems from GSXR to RVF i have tried.. reviews alot of problem.. so fast is not what i want but reliability is what i need.. so many things are coming ard the corner... chinese new year this new year will be a freaking busy 1.. i dun have time to buy clothes and i realise i got so many places to go bai nian.. SHITZ.. but well i shall go window shopping sooner or later.. so many things to do yet i am starting to get lazy.. tml is my FTT hope i pass la... sian liao lei... if need to retake again i sian ji bua liao.. but for the sake for driving a car by this year i have to chiong driving.. than i bring my friends for a joy ride.. hope i can bring her(not chloe) out 1 day... i really dunno i should anot... ARGHZ.. i think i should not get into a r/s so fast.. esp i think now i shall not commit anymore...